8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health)

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Press: W. W. Norton & Company; 1 edition (October 21, 2013)
Author Name:Brandt, Andrea; Rothschild, Babette;


Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. 
Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel―in actions that contradict their words.
That’s passive-aggression.
At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others.
Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit.
Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here.
The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes.
Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.

About the Author

Andrea Brandt, PhD, has more than thirty years of experience working with individuals, couples, groups, and children. 
She is a sought-after television and radio show guest and lives in Santa Monica, California.Babette Rothschild, MSW, has been a practitioner since 1976 and a teacher and trainer since 1992.
She is a bestselling author of six books, all published by WW Norton and translated into more than a dozen languages.
She is also the creator and Series Editor of the 8 Keys to Mental Health Series.
After living and working for 9 years in Copenhagen, Denmark she returned to her native Los Angeles where she is writing her next books while she continues to lecture, train, consult, and supervise professional psychotherapists of all sorts worldwide.


Self-Help,Anger Management,Health, Fitness & Dieting,Mental Health,Mood Disorders,Communication & Social Skills

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Comment List (Total:17)

  •     Because this is a personality disorder it can be helped.It is a learned behavior coming from childhood this book explains that and much more it takes two for passive aggressiveness to work and you will learn your role in the dance you will also learn how to change you thus change the other person very good learning
  •     My wife gave me this book to read. Grudgingly, I started to read it - and I couldn't believe how much it was all about ME! After I read it, I thanked my wife and we now have a better and more open dialog with each other. It really helped my marriage!
  •     I found this to be a well written book for that appears to be an empathetic and supportive perspective for both passive-aggressive individuals seeking insight, as well as those seeking strategies for "coping" with the passive-aggressives in their lives.Other books that I have found on the subject primarily offer significantly biased appeals that validate the frustrations of the "coping" person. This kind of method I refer to as a "triage position" because the focus of support goes to the one that's "going to live". It's my opinion that these kinds of methods may increase apathy in persons who may be searching for healthier behavioral strategies.Andrea Brandt's book offers compassionate approaches to all readers.
  •     This book was an easy read. It helped me to understand my role in situations. The exercises were beneficial and advice for future encounters give me hope!
  •     Good information. Struggling in my marriage, this book has offered good and applicable information.
  •     This book is very good for helping to understand passive-aggressive behavior, how to recognize and overcome these behaviors in yourself, and also how to handle people in your life...
  •     My adult brother has severe Passive-aggressiveness. I've never been able to talk to him about because yah know....
  •     Enlightening
  •     Insightful!
  •     I've been reading and practicing mindfulness and anger management as well as non violent communication. I was convinced my husbands father was a narcissist, but it turns out, he's got very low self worth and is simply passive aggressive. When he moved in with us, my husband basically dug a hole and crawled in. I tried hard to discuss with him these behaviors, but he claimed I was "too sensitive" and that this wasn't affecting him and his sons relationship. Now that he's gone and my husband is slowly coming out of his shell, I am so grateful for this book. It highlights all of our conditioned behaviors without "blaming" but giving us clarity about where they were produced and now, how we MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! It also touches on appropriate ways to communicate as well as all the ways our emotions effect our bodies physically so that people can become aware of what they're feeling in the first place. This book is a combo of several courses I've taken for thousands of dollars, 20 years of therapy and at least 1/2 of the self help books I've read in the past. Well worth the read and the inner work!
  •     very helpful
  •     Very informative, easy to understand explanations, with many examples.
  •     this book is very informative and i would recommend it to anyone who is suffering from being passive aggressive or knows someone who is. i bought this book for myself. i grew up in a family where all your choices were made for you, you did not voice your opinion, and perfectionism what key. i am trying hard to overcome my childhood tendencies because i know they are only hindering me from being who i want to be.
  •     As a Life and Business Coach, I do not practice psychology however I like to read psychology books from time to time to give me a better insight into some of the issues that might be hindering my clients' progress. A friend recommended the 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness by Dr. Brandt. I found this relatively short book to be brilliant. It is a laser-like approach to identifying the anger and passive-aggressive behaviors that get in the way of many people having the happy productive lives they want or in creating healthy relationships at home or in a work environment.This insights and knowledge this book provides are profound and yet at the same time it can be read and understood at many levels. Dr. Brandt uses clear, realistic and practical examples to illustrate every point. Therefore, whether you are a therapist or an individual exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior or you are the partner of someone damaging your relationship because of this behavior - this book is a must read.Five stars are not enough - I officially give 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness six star and two thumbs up.Jeffrey Silber, CPA, MBA , ACC
  •     This was a good book. I researched PA books for a while before I bought this one. I am an engineer and know very little about psychology. This book is straight forward, concise and provides realistic approaches to help you.
  •     Didn't help me.
  •     This a good, I mean I don't want to disagree with the other reviewers, but I liked it. To each his own. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

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