My Parent's Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Ill

Nav:Home > Parenting & Relationships > Family Health > My Parent's Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Ill

Press: New Harbinger Publications, Inc (October 1, 1989)
Publication Date:1989-10
Author Name:Brown, Eva M.


Eva Marian Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist practicing in Oakland, CA. 
In her general practice she provides individuals, couples, ...

From the Author

It is my hope that Adult Children of the Mentally Ill (ACMIs) will find this book a source of support and encouragement when dealing with the inevitable wounds resulting from growing up in a dysfunctional family. 
My intent is to provide you with some tools for tackling your issues on your own.
I don't however, intend to imply that in all instances deep-seated hurts can be satisfactorily healed with these methods.
While this book will help you identify important themes in your life, some of you will find that you'll want or need some professional guidance.
A dialogue with a therapist can offer support for a deeper exploration and understanding of your history, emotions, and current patterns of behavior.

From the Back Cover

This book is a comforting and supportive guide to recognizing and changing the limiting childhood patterns you've carried into your adult relationships. 
You'll be able to recognize yourself in the rich and revealing quotes the author has included from many hours of interviews with people who grew up with a disturbed parent.

About the Author

Eva Marian Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist practicing in Oakland, CA. 
In her general practice she provides individuals, couples, and group psychotherapy to adults with a broad range of problems.
She also specializes in working with adults who grew up with a parent suffering from a serious psychological impairment.
Such disturbances profoundly affect the functioning of both the parent and the family.
She created the acronym ACMI (Adult Children of the Mentally Ill).
Previously, people from this population were unrecognized as a unique group with common influences, challenges, and concerns.
She works with them in an individual setting, as well as leading ACMI groups

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Some quotes from the author's interviews:  "When I think about my childhood, I always think, 'Highway robbery!' I just feel robbed. 
I feel strongly that no child should ever go through that." "I still feel really sad at what happened to both of us.
She should never have been left alone to take care of me.
She should never have been left alone at all.
We were both victims." "I still find it so amazing that someone else went through the same stuff I did.
And it's also amazing that they have the same problems that I have; it's just unbelievable.
Just hearing from other people has been a big help."


Parenting & Relationships,Family Health,Family Relationships,Parent & Adult Child,Health, Fitness & Dieting,Psychology & Counseling

 PDF Download And Online Read: My Parent's Keeper: Adult Children of the Emotionally Ill



Comment List (Total:16)

  •     EXCELLENT!!!!
  •     I have been searching for help on the topic of having a mentally ill parent for years and only recently found this book. It is a very valuable resource. The author is comapssionate, has a keen understanding of the problem, and can articulate what it feels like to be the child of such a troubled parent extremely well. This alone is helpful in that it helps the reader feel validated in their struggle and not so alone. The author also provides practical (to me) and useful advice and guidance in how to deal with the life-long challenge of having a mentally ill parent.
  •     I saw a lot of myself in this book, being a child of 2 mentally ill parents, but while they had a chapter on dealing with aging mentally ill parents, it never mentions suicide. This was a major oversight for a book dealing with a population so at risk for suicide. My mother killed herself when I was 10. This brings along a further set of problems, guilt, shame, regrets, stigma, that lasts a lifetime. It was completely omitted from the book.
  •     This book was one of those "life changers" for me and I'm usually really skeptical of self help books. It really spoke to my soul and best of all it's a very easy read.
  •     I liked reading this book and it had some good points to it. Anyone that has a family member that is emotionally disturbed and you don't know what to do about it, this would be a...
  •     I was hoping for a book that was more professional, but this book was simplified with anecdotal stories. Still looking.
  •     The various needs of adult children of the emotionally ill (as well as of younger such children) are not sufficiently catered to by the self help literature.
  •     My entire life I've wondered why I am the way I am; no longer the do I have to question myself. Reading this fantastic book is like looking into a mirror.
  •     Great read for kids who were raised by adults with mentall illness.
  •     I am now 54. For the last 40+ years I have felt I have never ‘belonged’. I felt like a ‘visitor’ to this world. Since my late teens I knew something wasn’t right. That started years of on-again/off-again counselling.Never having been able to have any close (intimate) relationships and always using my work as an excuse I didn’t marry until my mid-30s. In hindsight I wanted to have a family of my own, to be a great mother and wife.I knew somewhere in my heart I would not be like my mother. That’s all I knew!My marriage turned out to be one of psychological and verbal abuse (unrecognised at the time as domestic violence). When I finally left, my mother sold her house to enable me to buy in with her to provide a home for me and my children. Little did I know then, I made a deal with the devil.My ex-husband was awarded custody of our children and during the last five years of trying desperately to protect them from him, I educated myself and had counselling - and was on my way to healing.In my quest for further information for a friend, I came across My Parent’s Keeper - I ordered it, and read it and finally all the pieces were put together.My daughter has had to be a ‘mother/wife’ to her father for the last 4 years. Unfortunately, she is still too young (17 years) to appreciate this book - but it is up there as something she needs to read and recognize.My life was with a mother who was never there for me emotionally (and still isn’t) - she is a narcissist. My ex-husband is one too but he is an abuser.This book put all the pieces of the jigsaw of my life together. I believed I was no-one. But I am lucky - I have already done a lot of the work suggested. Now I’m more determined to face my fears.This book has helped free me and reinforced that I am someone who is worthy and deserves better.
  •     A bit formulaic a la ACA.
  •     I hope this book will help me.
  •     Not only does the book talk about the patterns that ACMI's adopt in order to survive (and it is really helpful to see that it isn't just you, but a phenomenon adopted by children growing up in a chaotic household), it also talks very simply and compassionately about taking slow but effective steps to move through and eventually beyond the issues. It helps identify and acknowlege survival mechanisms (such as lack of trust, need to control, caretaker role, low self-esteem and guilt), more than focusing on dealing with the parents.
  •     This book has been a life saver! I am the first born child of a mother with bipolar disorder. This book has given me such insight as to why I have taken on the burden of parenting my mother and siblings as well as often finding it difficult or next to impossible to know how or why I put others needs above my own. Living with a parent that refuses to get appropriate psyciatric care or take mood stablizing medications has a profound effect on a childs life. I am 54 and just now through the help of this book I have some answers as to why things in my chilhood and my adult life have been so disfunctional. Thank you Eva Marie Brown for shedding some light on a subject that is in such need of understanding. I would recomend this as reading to anyone who deals with a family member of even a friend of the emotionally distubed to help them understand the ways they can unwitingly become enmeshed in the confusing life of the emotionally disturbed.Sherry Duncan, Sumner, Wa.
  •     A **great** book.My journey: This book affected me profoundly. I bought it on whim. From the begining, reading it felt like somebody had written a book about my innermost feelings (that I had never shared nor understood myself). The book opened doors, previously kept closed all my life by my denial. Its accurate description of my complex inner life enabled me to recognize myself and then seek help (out of my comfort zone). Recognizing home truths was upsetting at times. Yet the book gave me strength as it made me realize (i) I can heal & (ii) I am not "crazy." Finally I could "name" my problem- thus it led me to a good therapist who met my needs. (I had sought treatment before - but partly "outsmarted" the therapist to not see the root cause, "protecting" her - typical adult child behavior).Why do I mention this? Simply because, if the above "rings a bell" and you suspect you are a "parentified child" - then I cannot recommend this book highly enough.The book is split to two. The first section- the description of the parentified child was most useful to me. The second section deals with practical advice that can be used in a therapeutic environment (my therapist did not take this path though so I cannot vouch for it).The author is knowledgable and experienced. The writing style is clear and a good range of illustrations are given.Good luck!
  •     If you have an emotionally ill person in your life, especially if it's your parent, this book could be helpful.

Legal Theory & Systems,Cooking Methods,Physics,Dentistry,Other Team Sports,Infantil y juvenil,Cars, Trains & Things That Go,Christian Denominations & Sects Book,。 FreeBook 

FreeBook @ 2018