A Most Reluctant Caregiver: A daughter learns valuable lessons as her difficult mother enters the sunset of her years

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Press:Trafford Publishing Trafford Publishing (October 2, 2008)
Publication Date:2008-10-2
Author Name:Susan Shelton


The personal story of a baby boomer daughter who finds herself caring for her difficult, ailing mother. 
Through vignettes and anecdotes, the author shares valuable practical tips for those facing similar challenges.


Parenting & Relationships,Aging Parents,Health, Fitness & Dieting,Aging

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Comment List (Total:6)

  •     I found the book absolutely wonderful. Instead of the usual sterile list of things to do, the author describes her own personal experiences, reveals her conflicted feelings day-to-day towards her mother, and discusses the impact her caregiving has on her relationship with others in her life. She provides many helpful recommendations and cautions but in a way that the reader can relate to. I found her description of the problems she ran into in using what one would think are straight forward legal documents such as a power of attorney in the real world particularly helpful.
  •     This book did not fit my needs as described in the description. It sounded like a mother/daughter relationship where the parent lives with the grown adult child versus the parent being put in a nursing facility. I have the parent living with me making demands and life circumstances difficult. The delivery and condition of the book were fine.
  •     My hunch is as we live longer more and more baby boomers will be caring for one another and aging parents. Since 1991, I have worked with the elderly in skilled nursing facilities, assisted living and hospitals. I have watched families struggle with how to assist a loved one who is not healthy. Currently, I work as a life coach and I help families deal with caregiver stress. One of the resources that I highly recommend is A Most Reluctant Caregiver by author Susan Shelton. I LOVE this book. Ms. Shelton shares her experience about caring for her "difficult" mother, family dynamics and navigating the health care system. She also provides valuable information about medications, long-term care, legal documents and even funeral arrangements. The resources she provides are priceless. Knowing what to do can help reduce the stress of caring for a parent. I recommend this book to any caregiver who is or will be providing care for a loved one.
  •     I am the daughter of a difficult parent...Our roles are changing... Demands are great. Decisions to be made on a daily basis... Who cannot relate?How to get a DNR and why?MRSA? VRE?Family issues, depression, nursing homes, etc.The information is specific and written from the heart!
  •     While there are many valuable tips on getting your house in order with respect to legal and medical issues, the value of this book lies in understanding the emotional toll that being a caregiver can take. If you are a caregiver, you will find yourself riding a wide range of emotions as the person you know, love, and care for begins to change. That person can become downright mean, difficult, angry, insensitive, resentful, paranoid, you name it. The person being cared for changes, either due to sickness, pain, dementia, or simple old age. Your feelings for them may also change. You will ride a rollercoaster of emotions and begin to question your own goodness. This book provides honest, raw insights into one person's experience on this journey, how it impacted her and her family. A journey not unlike what many others have, and will, experience. You are not alone, your feelings are not abnormal. You are still a good person, otherwise you would not be attempting to be a caregiver.
  •     A Most Reluctant Caregiver gave me great comfort in knowing I was not alone in the difficult role of "caregiver" for my mother. What a tremendous responsiblity it is to be the one to make decisons for another adult's well-being and with no previous experience to fall back on. This book is filled with helpful information not only for your challenging role as caregiver but also in preparing for your own future so others will not have the burdensome task of making major decisions for you at a later date.B.A.Chapman

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